Social Life of Pashtuns/Pukhtoons

Social Life of Pashtuns/Pukhtoons

 

Family

An attractive feature of the Pukhtoon way of life is the joint family system which signifies their deep love for the family's solidarity and welfare. The desire of communal life emanates from a consideration of economic security and integrity. All the family members, even the married sons, live jointly in a house large enough to separately accommodate each married couple under the authority of the father who, as head of the family, manages the family affairs and exercises an immense influence in his own domain.
All the earning hands of the family, married as well as un-married sons, contribute their share of income to the common pool of resources. All expenses on food, clothing, education, health, birth, marriages and deaths are defrayed from this common fund. The mantle of authority falls on the eldest son's shoulders after the death of the father or when old age renders him unable to discharge his functions efficiently. The system of Nikat (ancestral line) which regulates the shares of losses and gains, debts and liabilities of each family, is the mainstay of Pukhtoon society. The internal management of the household rests with the mother who exercises her authority within her own sphere of influence. The joint family system, however, is gradually giving way to individualistic trends under the impact of modern influences. It is losing its hold, particularly on educated classes and well off sections.

Respect for Elders

The Pukhtoon children are taught to show a great degree of respect to their parents and elders. Senior members of the family, particularly elders, command great respect. Parents are properly and reverently looked after in old age and every effort is made to provide them with all possible comforts. There is a famous Pashto maxim that "Paradise lies under the feet of the parents" and Pukhtoons true to their faith leave no stone un-turned in obtaining their blessings. It is generally believed that parents' curses bring sorrows, miseries and hardships. Sons and daughters, therefore, refrain from incurring the displeasure and curses of their fathers and mothers.
The elder's opinion prevails in all important matters. Kashars or youngsters of the community rise from their seats as a mark of respect when an elderly person enters the Hujra. Youngsters are normally not expected to talk or laugh loudly or smoke a cigarette or huqqa in the presence of their elders. Even in tribal Jirgas the younger members of the village are not allowed to speak. Everything is left to the discretion of their elders.

Manners